Heather Graham Next
Birth Day: January 29, 1970
Born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Measurements: 36-28-34
Slide Show - Gallery - More
Latest Active Threads
C&C Remaster - 0 replies
CNCNZ - 0 replies
Important Update - 0 replies
Heather! - 0 replies
Search for Heather Graham
Google | Google Images | AV Images

  • A Class Celebs Gallery
  • Celebrity Picture and Movie Gallery
  • Did You Know:
    heather is teh most lovliest girl on teh planet earth!


    About a thread on the Generals Boards:
    Mark: my IQ is dropping exponetially.
    Shen: indeed, i'm sorry i gave you that :P
    Mark: i'll go read solo
    Mark: that always makes me feel smart.
    You must be logged in to rate a babe Current: 2.50
    It must be love | - 10.31.2001
    archived news - up
    Well after an eventful day of tweaking and what not of XP, I've pretty much got it the way I'd like it for the moment. Everything is now working fine and dandy and I think I actually like this release of ICQ better than the previous one, so it must be good.

    I think I could very well come to like this OS quite alot.

    Saw it coming and all. | - 10.31.2001
    archived news - up
    Downloading the latest version of ICQ, something I am always greatly apposed to doing. I knew I'd have to eventually, and the plethora of ICQ database crashes about 10minutes ago forced me to switich over. It's all thing you can live with but still annoying.

    Still no luck with the italics issue, gues I'll just have to get used to it, exhaused everything in my admitedly limited repetoire to fix it.

    Windows XP, Cordless Loving and election.au/2001 | - 10.31.2001
    archived news - up
    Time for a bit of AU post loving...

    Windows XP: I've been a long time user of Windows NT as my primary desktop OS -- Windows NT 4 Workstation was my primary OS back in '97, followed with an upgrade to Windows 2000 (NT5) come end of 1999. About a month ago, I joined the bandwagon and moved along to the latest incarnation of Windows NT -- Windows XP (or Windows NT 5.1).

    Things have sure changed since the NT4 days. Back in the day, you only got DirectX up to v3 support (and even then, only with the latest service packs); it wasn't THE most stable OS in the world (worlds better than 95/98, but not perfect). Win2k improved that stability significantly, where it was usually IE that was responsible for bringing a system to its knees. Now we've seen the last of the 9x series with ME, and the beginning of a new 'consumer-grade' NT.

    You'll find XP for the desktop in two main flavours -- the "Home" version, and the "Professional" version. Having come from Win2k Pro, and wanting/needing some of the more advanced features, I'm a XP Pro user.

    The installation went smoothly, and afterwards I gulped as a blank black screen appeared. "O oh", I thought. Something's screwed. Then I was much relieved and delighted to see a rather fanciful XP loading screen slowly fade in. How gimmicky! Yet nice. The OS booted lightning fast in comparison to Win2k -- this had been one of my major reasons for wanting to upgrade.

    Once you make your users, you're presented with a lovely blue 'Welcome' screen. I love this... you click on the user you wish to log in as, then type the password underneath if you have one set. This screen also doubles as the "locked workstation" screen, as found in NT4 and Win2k. The big difference is "Fast User Switching". This means you can lock your computer and walk away, leaving all your programs open, and someone else can come in, log in as another user, and do whatever, without disturbing/seeing your applications. When they're done, they log out, you log back into your locked session, and everything is just where you left it. It's great!

    Other features I particularly liked:

    • The 'recently used programs' list on the Start Menu

    • Auto and manual hiding of programs in the System tray

    • The funky new icons

    • The new folders view (although I've disabled it now, which makes rapid folder navigation far faster ;)

    • Snap-to-grid arrangement of icons on your desktop

    • The new Windows Update v4

    • The new My Computer look

    In short, I'm a big fan. Bring it on!

    Cordless Loving: I've finally given in and forked out the $A199 for a Logitech Cordless Freedom Optical set. It's awesome. A USB keyboard optical mouse set from Logitech. In short, it looks swank, and it's feature packed. I love the Media Control buttons on the keyboard, the scroll wheel so I can have fights with the one on the mouse, the quick launch buttons... Gotta love it! Laying on my bed changing MP3s without moving -- who needs a remote control when you've got a cordless keyboard? ;-)

    The Election: Simple. I'll be voting for the Merrick and Rosso Party For A More Tops-er Australia. These boys know what they're talking about!

    P.S. "Compulsory". Mike's spelling is improving. ;-)

    Definition of Insanity | - 10.31.2001
    archived news - up
    The definition of insanity, some may say, is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Well I've just installed Windows XP Professional Corperate Edition, or as it's better known as , NT5.1.

    I suppose most windows users and upgraders could be considered insane on that basis. It is my firm belief Windows Install screenes are purposely designed with the Donkey and the Carrott philosophy. It has the ability to turn rational level headed intelligent men into fools who think that even thou it says 60minutes we all know it only means 20minutes. Like on the other 3-4upgraders of Operating System you've done..

    Trivialities aside, I must commend..well maybe too strong a word too soon, I really do like this OS. Once you get past the playskool(C) engineered default colour scheme [I'm quite partial to the Silver one right now] the menus are much easier to use than before. Given there is slightly more clicking involved [sure to be the bane of Tim and Steve to name but a few ;)] but they are catorgorized helpfully and usefully. If you don't like that you can always switich back to the classic style of viewing along with new orgasmic icons. The start menu is a tad confusing and could have done with the programs being somewhere near the top, espcially if you have a large amount like me. It has a shortcut for pretty much all the main system component, very slick.

    I have to say the folders really are excellent. The folders which contain music have handy options for playing them, and when arranged in a list display most of the ID3 info, including Artist and Album. Picture only files have a handy dandy thumbnail viewer and scroller if there are a certain amount of images in there. Once this number is exceeded it's the old layout of an folder with thumbs etc, very nice. I also like the way the old Windows Explorer folder scroller has been incorperated as a drop down open for all folders now, so you can access pretty much any file from any folder you want without trapsing thru a load of folders. This explains why the folders are now set out as they are really.

    What about a folder within a folder? Well if this folder happened to contain images, in your little scroller at the bottom you'll get three small thumbs inside a folder shaped icon with the name of it underneath. Pretty spunky really. Mixed folders with a content of less than our magical fodler number are displayed the way pictures are, once this is exceeded you just get a view as you would expected from Win9.x, but of course with all the icons spruced up.

    As of yet, the only fault I've had with it is it's fucked the double click button on my mouse, but this is mainly because I'm too lazy to reboot to sort out MouseWare right now. Basically you're looking at some very nice refinements to the intergration of the itnernal broswing and the web. Time will tell when it comes to installing new hardware, thou I'm told it even likes USB ports!

    AU Election 2001 | - 10.31.2001
    archived news - up
    With the australian federal election about a week and a half away, it's time for every australian to begin to consider the issues they believe most important.

    For me, thats betting on which party i think will win. While i wont actually vote for either of our two main partys (voting here is compulsery) i've been planning to bet on the coalition (iwho currently are in power), and now as the return for the coalition is getting back up to the $2 mark ($1.97 is the best ive seen) its probably the best time to have a punt. If you're interested in the betting odds for the au election (and im sure you are!) head this way.

    New Poll Up! | - 10.31.2001
    archived news - up
    After many minutes of sweat and tears, the new poll is up. Steve and I unleashed our gun totting rednecks for this weeks poll;

    What's your favourite...small arm?
    The commentary is quite long, but we thought was adiquate for the number of options. It's also supposed to be quite a funny read[?!]. You can vote by clicking that nicely rounded button to the right of you, or by exerting pressure on your left mouse button. Enjoy.

    Poll Results | - 10.31.2001
    archived news - up
    The results are in and after very dubious and insidious 11th hour tactics Mike has indeed come out on top. Oh well, shit happens. Here's how they stacked up:

    Who's the site's best..pimp?
    Total Votes: 62


    Screenies | - 10.31.2001
    archived news - up
    The return of the altered screenshots return. Three of these were done by yours truly, the other by Grim. It's pretty obvious which is which. Enjoy.



    I'd argue but, well, what can I say? I'm an honest guy.

    Tasty | - 10.31.2001
    archived news - up
    Life sized pie. else;(Hormones==Off)

    Mike... | - 10.31.2001
    archived news - up
    Remember that time... Strangely I do, and some Class-A narotics were involved too...?

    Ah what a sucky week/past weekend. Being the true pimp that I am.. for my first car I scored a 95 BMW 325is (bright red :). While in some towns this might not be that big of a deal, in my town (where the average car is a 93 ford festiva) it stands out..a lot. Anyway I hadn't had any problems since i've had the car (about 2 months) but last friday i was over a friends with my girlfriend from about 10-1130. I leave to take her home and as i'm walking towards my car i can tell somethings just not right. Well someone had smashed off my passenger mirror and at the same time scratched my passenger window beyond repair. Called the cops, filed a report, waiting for a damage estimate..

    Oh don't leave yet i'm not done. Now I get to school on monday (yesterday) and everything is fine. Tell the weekend's story numerous times during the day because everyone knows my car..so naturally people wanted to know. 2 rolls around and i head out to the parking lot and again..notice somethings wrong..its really just a sickening feeling. Someone had dumped 3 cups of coffee all over my car (coffee was already dried..baked on by a full day's worth of sun). Don't think i've been that upset too many times in my life.. I head down to the police station, file another report, have some pictures taken just so it would be on file then home to clean my car.

    Now I wouldn't have minded as much if the coffee had just gotten on the outside..but no..my sunroof was tilted up allowing coffee to get on my headliner, center console, shift boot, and my shiny new jvc kd-sh99 cdmp3 player..ugh. As it stands now theres no way in hell i'm bringing my car to school anymore, its turning into a garage queen and i'm using my sisters old car as a daily driver..and in true lp style..its an '87 vw cabriolet.. p1mp :)

    Boredom | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    Whilst browsing SecurityArms.Com for visual aids for our upcoming poll - which Steve and I shall be compiling tonight - I came across a picture that with some modifications was prime for a little joke amoungst friends.

    If you've got a conflagration to cause, and no one else can help, maybe you can call....
    You can run...


    Spam Alert!! | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    Normally I just ignore my Spam... Most of the time their about Viagara substitutes (dont ask) anyway this one caught my eye today.

    Now Offering for your "Sensitive" Delight ... NEW & IMPROVED

    *** KATHMANDU 2 ***

    Thanks to recent dramatic advances in the laboratorial processes for the extraction of botanical/herbal alkaloids and glycocides, we are now able to offer what has already been the most incredibly potent marijuana/cannabis alternative available on the planet .... KATHMANDU TEMPLE KIFF!!! It is NEW, IMPROVED and 20 times more stokin'-tokin' potent in its formulation.

    KATHMANDU 2 ... a viripotent cannabis alternative for blissful regressions of vexatious depressions...


    Kathmandu Temple Kiff is a proprietary; Nepalese, sensitive, pipe-smoking/stoking substance. Kathmandu Temple Kiff is indeed the most substantial marijuana/cannabis alternative on the planet.

    Absolutely Legal! Marvelously Potent!

    Kathmandu Temple Kiff possesses all of the positive virtues fine ganja/cannabis without any of the negatives. An amalgamation of high concentrates of rare euphoric herbas, Kathmandu is offered in a solid jigget/bar format and is actually more UPLIFTING & POISED than cannabis / marijuana while rendering Euphoria, Happiness, Mood-Enhancement, Stress/Depression Relief and promoting contemplativeness, creativity, better sleep, lucid dreaming ... and enhancing the sexual experience!!!

    Kathmandu Temple Kiff is simply the best and just a little pinch/snippet of the Kathmandu goes a long, "sensitive" way. Just 4 or 5 draws of the pipe ... (an herb pipe included with each package of Kathmandu Temple Kiff).

    PLEASE NOTE: Although no botanical factor in Kathmandu Temple Kiff is illegal or considered to be harmful by regulatory agencies and no tobacco is included therein, it is the policy of our company that Kathmandu Temple Kiff may not be offered or sold to any person that has not attained at least 21 years of age.

    So power-smokin potent is our new formulation, that much to our delight and actually even to our amazement, we have even be able to establish a very happy clientele within the hard core stoner market.

    Put that in your bong and smoke it!

    Owning | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    Unfortunately I don't have the plethora off "real world buddies" as Mike and the rest of you, so I can't call on such humourous events to post about. I can thou call yuor attention to another bit of content I've just thrown together out of sheer boredom. Chemical Elements. If I get really bored I'll call upon my vast knowledge of 10th Grade Chemistry and work out some equations. In the meantime, enjoy.

    the g-spot! | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    everytime i read / hear someone say 'g-spot' a smile appears on my face. not because of the obvious sexual connotations (although - that is at about my maturity level,) but the g spot is what one of my friends (his surname begins with a g) calls his basement. he's got it setup really nicely, even with decks and a good selection of vinyl (mainly rnb.) its just amusing, the way its used in context, for example "i'm going to have a party at the g-spot this weekend." ok, maybe its not funny, but it is for me. and anyway - wm->postcount++ (can you tell im working on a programming assignment - and i know that wouldnt work in c, but lets pretend it does)

    it was interesting to see annihilated noted below. TA was the first game i got involved with heavily online (i wouldnt count visiting a few ra sites as being heavily involved.) i remember, way way way before my tumsun days being the biggest news whore for magar, constantly sending news in. it actually put a smile on my face when i got my name on the frontpage, fuck i'm not even going to try to justify that.

    Hell yeah, I ran an Annihilated.com hosted site once, Annihilation Compund (compound.annihilated.org), so I was there too. Seems a lot of CCU members came from the TA community...

    Oh, and why does the font change when you use paragraph tags in NewsPro (see above for reference)...?

    Most likely because font was defined in css..for instance you can assign a certain font for a column (td) or a bullet (li) or a paragraph (p)..all independantly..can you tell i'm working on a website?

    Dating a web designer!

    Currently Playing | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    That little list above gets updated when Mark feels like it I guess so I started a thread on the forums to find out what everyone is Currently Playing. If your not part of [lp] post anyway because your probably bored like me.

    G-Spot News | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    More irrlevancy, but that's why you come here [and to see mike and I battle it out for the largest amount of inane posts we can get up]. I don't usually ready G-spot for news, I only went there to look up some reviews for Flashpoint and Black Gold to quell my boredom - #jedi wasn't helping.

    Half-Life Movie?. Ah yes, HL. The only thing that saved this game from disappearing after the initial success was the whole open sourceness[?!] of the game. Unfortunately, all the once orginal mods have fallen into the gravity well of mainstream commercialism and subsiquent lack of any "coolness". That is, of course, you're a 14-15yo at my school who likes to play CS and cheat and think's it's the bestest funnest game since Frogger.

    Personally I'd like to see a HL movie and a whole host of other games made into movies, providing they are done right. When I say games into movies, I don't mean a movie that bares the title of a game, [Tomb Raider, that Square one and anything else you care to mention] but an actual dramatisation of the plot with decent direction, script writing and acting, things many ordinary films are lacking greatly in recent times. See how it pans out, but if they do make it I really do hope they don't fuck it up.

    AvP2 certified "mass geek game". What sort of criteria does a game need to become such a prestious appointment anyway? These sorts of things are always such a bad reflection on us "geeks/gamers/nerds". Given most of them probably are the sort of people who don't wash or change clothes more than twice a week and never touch food with a knife and fork, the population in general in it's boundless ignorance, likes to classify everyone and anyone who plays games as some sort of social outcast who deserves nothing better than ridicule or being locked away in the dark cellar of self pitty.

    But there is nothing we can do about stereotypes or elinating the extremes of our "grand and advanced" culture. Then again, if it's in the interests of humanity it's not genocide, it's called a "cull". I could go on but I really can't be bothered. I must congratulate for reading this far thou.

    *sigh* | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    Time to cry over times long gone...

    - www.cncboards.com (wtf...?)
    - www.cnc2.com (careful...)(Taking the old "Knights a homosexual" joke a little too far there I think...)
    - www.commandandconquer2.com (inactive)
    - www.wwnation.com (inactive)


    On a happier note, a grand old site (not a CCU site, mind you) has recently re-opened after more than a year's downtime. Please welcome back Annihilated.com! Might not be back to its old glory, and Magar is still missing and presumed dead, but it's back!

    p's get degrees | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    (im only posting this because the fp is the only place where i can outpost mark)

    p's get degrees is a saying im sure any uni / college student is familiar with and it would sum up my entire attitude towards my own tertiary education. why work hard for a distinction when all you need is a pass, and with my rather relaxed attitude so far, i've still managed to have a gpa of 2.75 (3 credits (just) and a pass.)

    today i completed what (imho) would have to have been one of the best implementations of the above ideal. in my maths subject, we were given three assignments to do over the semester where we needed an average mark of 40% (or 120 marks out of a possible 300). things weren’t looking too good for me from the outset, when in the first assignment i got an unexpected 14% (it is a hard subject) followed by a not so promising 41%. faced by the need to get 66% in the final (a good 20% better than i had done before, and with harder questions) i was understandably concerned. after actually putting some effort into this assignment i submitted it and hoped for the best. when the results were handed back today, my spirits were dashed when i came only a couple of marks short of my required 66%.

    not letting the very possible eventuality of failing on the spot, having to repeat the subject again and face an unpleasant financial penalty due to my non-chalant(sp?) attitude towards uni, i sat down with a couple of friends and plotted an attempt to enable me to pass. going through the paper we came up with an anal (and very questionable) excuse to get me the 3 marks extra i required. after some brilliant persuasional techniques on my part, my professor relented and awarded the extra marks - getting me a total of 121 / 300. wh00p!

    i know you dont care, but at least pretend to share the excitement with me.

    Comic loving | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    I tihnk I've got linkitus

    • How True. Do we really care if we've fired three more tomahawks and blown up some more rocks? I know I don't, and I won't sleep and easier knowing we have.
    • PA Strike again. This is partly up here just because it's funny, but mainly because I love the way PA hold no bars when stereotyping upper management, throw caution to the wind and all. He even has the management gut.
    More inanities to come no doubt.

    Web Portals | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    I'm sure a number of you guys remember the portal wars that went on a couple of years ago - when the web portal was dubbed the latest and greatest thing on the internet (talking about the latest / future of the internet, who remembers ms' channel's and the other varieties of push technology? thought so.) Heaps of different sites got in the act, and companies like Netscape and AltaVista are paying for it now.

    Regardless, I was checking out the new msn.com as I was out of better things to do, and it got me thinking about setting up my own portal page again. I can see how it would be really convienient to have one page that shows you shit like news headlines, tomorrow's weather, stocks and whatever else you want to choose. does anyone else check a portal daily? if so - any recomendations?

    k thx.

    ahh the possibilities..like..wow..daily pr0n news..pics..sign me up

    New Element Discovered! | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    All this good stuff thanks once again to #jedi and the dubiously named "whoo-im-nekkid".

    Investigators at a major research institution have discovered the heaviest element known to science. This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Administratium (Ad). This new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by the exchange of virtual particles called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

    Because it has no electrons, Ad is chemically inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years; it does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization, when a number of assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places.

    In fact, an Administratium sample's mass will actually increase over time, since in each reorganization some of the morons inevitably, become neutrons, forming new isotopes. The property of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Administratium is formed whenever morons reach a certain accumulation.

    This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass." You will know it when you see it.
    Whilst we're on the subject, here is the chemical information about "Woman"[Wo] which I foudn knocking around my staff folder.

    wh00p | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    now thats eric's returned, i can get back into the rythem of posting links to sites im sure he'll love.

    todays link is... hardcore stick figure pr0n. enjoy!

    mark | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    would you mind changing the current poll question? im kinda getting sick having to always connect, select my name, submit then disconnect to repeat the same process 4 or 5 times every day.


    I wsa going to change it when I could think of a new subject we could actually do some commentary on. Ok, so I'm slacking, you expected maybe effort?

    wtf! you still don't have cable??

    Midnight boredom | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    I got bored running around the net and I ended up at viewaskew.com, the official site of Kevin Smith and all his Hilarious, moslty fun movies Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma and Jay and silent Bob Strike back they have tons of fun shit there including photos of the infamous bluebrint plans to take out the stage viewable here:


    Anyway, if you haven't seen Mallrats, it's a must see for all! Even you people who might not even get half the crap it'll still be damn funny.

    Hows this for an entrance.. | - 10.30.2001
    archived news - up
    Damn..been a while huh guys? Don't worry I haven't forgot I've just been a little out of touch lately. Anyway saw this and thought of you guys.

    So many things to tell you guys..don't worry I'll be around.

    It's like a perverse advert for the Post Office. Unless you live in Britain you'll no doubt not understand the punchline.

    I don't get it..help the ignorant american :)

    As part of our postal service's pathetic compaign to make us use the postal service, on the rare occasion there isn't a strike, they have been running these adverts on TV etc. They basically go "I saw this" *insert obscure item* "and thought of you" *insert obscure item being used in obscure context". "What will you send?" Nothing momentus or anything ;)

    Once In A Lifetime | - 10.29.2001
    archived news - up
    I put off buying the album previously because of price and lack of money, I'd rather get the studio shit first. But now I've got it, boy am I glad I did. Can't get over how amazing this album is, must be the best live album I've ever heard. It brings light to yourt life just knowing this sort of musical genius exists.

    Even if you're just a closet rock fan, you have to pick up some of Dream Theater's work, it's the genius of prog at it's best [so I'm a little bias]. Even better, ticketline are starting to take orders for the January gig in Manchester. *does a jig*

    Gamecube | - 10.29.2001
    archived news - up
    Gotta love it. I'm not tempted to buy one, even if Panasonic are making them. Honest.
    [12:05] (@tengu): panasonic+nintendo
    [12:05] (@tengu): its riceboy action

    Too bad that's the Japanese version....

    Hah | - 10.29.2001
    archived news - up
    I didn't realise how much RADEN was skooling all the other sites. "Exclusive" movies from the public WW FTP server or no "exclusive" movies from the public WW FTP server, he's doing all us "old timers" proud.

    On a side note, Lion, Chris do you have a 88x31 button for your sites? I didn't realise it wasn't the done thing anymore. I want to try and construct a wall of "endorsed" sites of some sort. Drop me a line or something.

    Words are beyond me | - 10.28.2001
    archived news - up
    What the fuck?

    Sorry Chris, but posting this requires punishment, no loving for 12hours. What the hell is that? Sounds like some sort of girl magazine with the constant theme of being "independant" or "virginal", but with more testosterone thrown in. The current thread is being a renegade and anything relating to machoism and renegade such as, yes you guessed it, babes! It's a three year old cliche, just stopit already. We use it because we were one of the first [notice lack of pioneer in that sentance].

    Ugh, shame on the web.

    Can anyone say wannabe?

    For those about to rock... | - 10.28.2001
    archived news - up
    Read the rules first. Yes sir, you may once again rock.

    Shamelessly stolen from BAMF.

    Good old days | - 10.28.2001
    archived news - up
    Who remembers Stor and the pictures we did out of sheer boredom? I've found Hamish's.

    Hamish SoberHamish Drunk


    Orginal Babe | - 10.28.2001
    archived news - up
    Every generat- I mean, every layout has an orginal babe, for v1 it was Yasmine, v2 was the lovely Kim and v3's babe remained unnamed for a great many weeks, but Steve brought it to my attention that her name is actually Josie Maran. Unfortunately, I forgot and didn't think about it nor did I have a link for other pictures, but thanks to the good folks over at AWD, they dutifully reminded me and supplied us with a link [ok, I shamlessly ripped it, what's the diff].

    For your viewing pleasure, Josie Maran.

    Additional material. You may thank the benevolant Kamikaze for these, but just cnp them as they don't allow outside linking. I think for the goods the price is more than worth it:

    http://www.josiemaran.co.uk - Main Page
    http://pics.josiemaran.co.uk/categories/Mens_Magazines/FHM/media/Josie-Maran-01-FHM-UKOct01-wp.jpg - Big Picture 1
    http://pics.josiemaran.co.uk/categories/Mens_Magazines/FHM/media/Josie-Maran-02-FHM-UKOct01-wp.jpg - Big Picture 2

    This gets better, apprently she is: bi, natural, sexy, randy, sex crazed and extroverted. *insert mass oogling*

    Sucks to be these Guys | - 10.28.2001
    archived news - up
    Shamelessly stolen from XtraMSN here in NZ.
    Two Ohio men who threw beer bottles at a woman in a car were sentenced to parade through the centre of their hometown dressed as women.

    Jason Householder, 23, and John Stockum, 21, walked around downtown Coshocton, population 12,000, for an hour Friday afternoon wearing dresses, wigs and makeup.

    Coshocton County Municipal Judge David Hostetler passed the sentence on Oct. 18, telling the men they could either comply with his order or go to jail for 60 days after being convicted of criminal damage. He also fined them $250 each.

    Hostetler, who often imposes unorthodox sentences, says he does so because of overcrowding in the Coshocton County Jail.
    And do Happy Fish Taste Better?

    So You Want To Be A Webmaster? | - 10.28.2001
    archived news - up
    Clearing out my messed up collection IE favourites I came across this, a link to an old PlanetQuake article called "So You Want To Be A Webmaster?". It was written in February 1999 . The page is kinda messed up but you can still read the article. Still don't know why I added that page to my favourites though.
    Another similar one here.

    Help | - 10.28.2001
    archived news - up
    I'm looking for a script of some sort that will ease my life, and I thought maybe you could help me:
    If I upload a new image to a directory, I want it to update a html/ssi file with a link to the new image. Not necessarily without me actually running the script, but so that I don't have to edit and upload the file myself. What would be even better was if it could handle thumbnails in some way as well, but that's a bonus. Anyone know of such a thing?

    Yea, e-mail my ass or get on ICQ

    Stil no internet connection, I'm sitting in the college computer lab. I'll message you on the forums then

    Perhaps a POTD script is what you need?

    Maybe... with some modifications. I'll search the script sites around the web, but if anyone knows of one, let me know. Cheers

    3 minutes | - 10.28.2001
    archived news - up
    Is all it took for me to find a quote to take out of context:
    [09:43] (@stacy): ants always been hardcore
    [09:43] (@stacy): he just doesnt always show it :)


    Rant | - 10.28.2001
    archived news - up
    Love is bullshit. When we were young and watched all these movies we were told that love was all you needed, it could overcome anything and once you were in love everything would be wonderful for you. LIERS! Love only works that way if u both feel it. For some reason in all those crappy movies there were always two people who ended up falling in love and living happily ever after. How about doing a movie where the guy would give his life for the girl that treats him like shit? Then in the end instead of her realizing that she has a wonderful guy just sitting there waiting, instead of that have the guy live his lonely ass life thinking of what things would be like if he was with her till the day he dies. I would pay to see that movie... it would be real unlike this crap they have been feeding us up till now. I'm tired of happy endings, lets see the guy kill himself! As you can tell im a little bitter about the shit in my life. I treat her like a fucking queen and what do i get? I get to sit here while she goes out with asshole after asshole and think about what my life would be like if she was mine. Yup i sit here till the asshole of the moment dumps her then i get to pick up the pieces, put her back together and then get ditched for the next dipshit. Just wanna be friends my ass, you just want me here to help you through the tough times and have me agree to all the shit you bitch about. Why do I do it u ask? Simply - because I love you. Why do I love you? I have no clue... but i know that my feelings aren't going to change as the seasons pass. You may say im young and ill admit i am but come see me in 5 years and lets see how I feel.

    Excuse this post... it started out in notepad just to get my feelings down then about 3/4 way through i desided to post it... thats why it might not flow as well as it should. Oh well, Im sure at least one of you can relate to it.

    Don't I fucking know it....'

    Amen brothers!

    Fess up | - 10.28.2001
    archived news - up
    Who is using the damned HTML editor that is adding an extra line everytime the index is edited? Fess up now and save yourself the punishment of having to go back and fix it all...

    I know excatly what you mean. Uploading shtml files in binary mode causes that.
    Oh yeah it wasn't me.


    BT's Secret Plan | - 10.27.2001
    archived news - up
    From my insiders I have been given access to the following information:
    The government today have annouced the future of the internet in this country. Cheap and fast internet access for all.
    This new form of access will be transported to home in large tankers, similar to petrol tankers, which will contain special internet juice.

    Rather like the Dustbin men, a tanker will be distributed to all the streets in the area from the council. The tanker will travel down the road, stopping at houses that need filling up.

    Of course the downside of this, is that the government is going to have to pay a lot of money to install tanks in people homes. The tank will contain the internet juice, which I might add is non-toxic, and non-flammable.

    A pipe will travel from the tankers to each tank, to fill up, the pipe will then be stored on the tanker. New computers are already being designed, not with a telephone port, but a stopcock, which will be removed, and a short pipe from the tank will be fitted into the computer.

    The government is being very cagey about this issue, but Insider sources told me that the man responsible for this idea, and in fact the man rumoured to be the governments favoured company director for the new company which will supply the internet juice is a Mr Dave Singleton.

    I spoke to Mr Singleton earlier, who said "This will herald a new era for the internet. My secret internet juice will cost only 25 a year, and my new company will be called BigGreenGrass - the peoples internet juicers."

    Is the future? I hope not.....

    ghosts of mars | - 10.27.2001
    archived news - up
    john carpenter should never be allowed to do a movie again.

    JSF Contract Awarded | - 10.27.2001
    archived news - up
    Well, today was the day and the US Finally made a choice on who would be supplying the JSF(Joint Strike Fighter), their new front line multi role fighter. It's sad to see aircraft like the F-14 Tomcat(as seen in "Top Gun"), The Boeing-BAe AV-8B Harrier(as seen in "True Lies"), the BAe sea Harrier, F-16 Fighting Falcon(as seen in "Iron Eagle II & III"), and the A-10 Worthog/Thunderbolt II replaced by an ugly over "stealthed" blob of an aircraft, but hey, it had to happen sometime. I feel sorry that the English Air Force and Navy were dragged into it as well, but the US just couldn't spend $200 billion on their own military budget now could they? I'm just glad that Canada isn't buying into this thing. Say what you will, it may fly well, and perform it's role as it should in a war that plays by the American BVR(Beyond Visual Range) rules, but, Ladies, war will not be fought this way against a properly matched oponent, no. Things will be up close and personal and if you don't have fighters that can maneover quickly and cleanly at subsonic speeds and at close range, well then you're at a disadvantage my friend and you will lose that war... The other annoying bit about this Aircraft is that it is another product with a single offset cannon, a common thread in American fighters these days(F-14,F-15,F-16,F-22,F-111, to name a few)... Anyway, I just don't like the damn things and I'm glad Canada isn't spending 40-50 million on one.... Say what you will, the Eurofighter will never come to production because of this deal, anyway that my beef(Streetcents rules!).

    For More info hit CNN's Article and Lockheed-Martin's official site

    Our philosophy is simple, you can't hit what you can't see. And seeing as how our JSOWs have a range of over forty miles... hmm you won't be seeing us :) Plus, where are our properly matched opponents? On mars?

    It ain't war unless you can see the whites of your oponent's eyes.

    The Eurofighter was a shit aircraft anyway. Air-warfare is at a point that it's not about up close and personal dog fighting now, espcially not with Pheonix missiles and the like which only need to be fired and do the rest for the ne what 100 miles or so... Anyway Steve, it's obviously the Goa'uld.


    True that was a hugly ignorant oversight by the designers etc, but Air to Air has come a distance since then...

    The phoenix did exist during the Vietnam war and if you're in a properly matched war, or an unevenly matched war(Vietnam was one....I do make mistakes from time to time BTW) it relies upon the capabilities of both sides to determine wether the war will be fought "dirty" or on even terms. In Vietnam, the Viet-congs had a major advantage, knowing how to fight in the jungle, the americans litterally had no idea how, and their pilots(US) were under trained for aerial combat, even with BVR weapons. If we had an evenly matched fight, Shinano's comment "You can't see us, you can't hit us" wouldn't apply because in this case, if you could see them, they could see you, infact an aircraft with the proper setup could detect the targetting radar on a phoenix, even before it's launched, so in essence, the BVR advantage can be eaten up quite easily with the proper know how, if not the technology, and if what I've been told is true about what Canada's T-33 ECW equipement can do then there's nothing that could stop the CAF from striking at the US, but then again it also goes the other way too. So what's the point of this discussion? Not much I suppose but it's always a good waste of time before I head off to bed. g'night all.

    Shit.. | - 10.26.2001
    archived news - up
    Buy our monopoly? Over my dead body..

    Real War | - 10.26.2001
    archived news - up
    Sucks Ass...

    Army Made Games

    I wont ever buy a game designed for/by the US Army. We have one of the best (Ha!) [LOL] and biggest Armies in the world, however... The mentality and mind set just isnt right for a video game.
    Marines on the other hand... =)

    Film Review | - 10.26.2001
    archived news - up
    Yea I know this should be under our content, but I'm too lazy to write a full review :) Anways, today's tastefully titled film is "Girls Gone Wild: College Girls Exposed." I thought it a fascinating film, full of intrigue, seduction, adventure... and lots and lots of naked chicks. Anyways, I thought it was actually kind of a rip (my friend bought it online, and he ripped it for me), I can find hotter girls around here then most of the ones in the film are. However, there are more than a few hotties, and it's great just for the entertainment value (read humor, not what you're thinking) if nothing else. There is also the shower scene at the end that is well worth mentioning (as in, godly), and if you need to be inspired to go to Mardi Gras sometime, I think this will do it to you :) The sheer wild abandon that goes on there makes it the epitomy of american culture. Reminds me, must call about those plane tickets...

    Overall 3/5 stars.

    WTF | - 10.25.2001
    archived news - up
    Since when did we get taken down from "The List", yet shitbrain sites about N fucking sync get to go up? No wonder I stopped reading.

    Nsync... We will have to have a talk with that man. Not only should we be on the list, but the recently redesigned list as well.

    heh | - 10.25.2001
    archived news - up
    after inferno's talk of his hit stats i checked ours out. after the US (com and net), Canada, AU and NZ, the next most frequent tld to visit this site is us educational...

    small things amuse small minds.

    Makes for some good late night reading I find.

    Gatecrasher - Digital | - 10.25.2001
    archived news - up
    Came out over here today. If there's on series of compilation discs that i'll never have a doubt of loving it would be gatecrasher ones. Right from the slightly pop/club sound of cd1 in national anthems to the underground (for au) trance sound of 'perpare for sonic heaven' on discotech generation, or 'dancefloor' on digital to the chilled trance of 'chill out - lets get digital and fall in love' cd3 on digital (im loving the michael woods mix of humate's love stimulation - i hadnt heard that remix before.) its definately money well spent.

    i can't wait for their summer sound system fesitval to hit sydney on december 1st too - especially how worldwide live died earlier this year.

    More Forum Hijinks!! | - 10.25.2001
    archived news - up
    Ta Da! Viper was on so we got bored and had a quick round of Forum Tennis, and boy was it fun, so click the nice main button to the left then click on the word Forum when it appears!

    This Post is brought to you by the letters E, L, M, E, and R, and by the number 1337(and not to mention a little rabbit named Stew ).

    That's a female rabbit, by the way. Anyways, back to my programming assignment...

    Uh... | - 10.25.2001
    archived news - up
    I'm happy to see the rainbow posts are beginning to come back, I missed those since the site got back up.

    fine fine | - 10.25.2001
    archived news - up
    Yeah Sure just leave me off the poll...

    Can ya feel the love? Can ya?

    Does this look like the kinda guy you would want to piss off?

    Do I know you? Hell no, and you can put the toy away....

    Dont worry there presto he knows me and im still not on there :P They're probably just scared we would get too many votes or something ;)

    Threatening your fellow staff members? This is going on your record, little bro. Now get that damn thing out of my face!

    Tell ya what, make some controbution to the site, then come whining to me about not being on the poll ok? ;)

    Corrolation | - 10.24.2001
    archived news - up
    Thought I'd pick a polysylabic word that bares some sort of referrence to what I'm going to post. Everyone is on about souls today, me, LG, Stargate and the Tok'ra were and TNG and The Q were at it earlier.

    If I think of anything else completely worthless and a regretful waste of your life, I'll let you all know. Afterall, what else are we good for?

    Uhh... | - 10.24.2001
    archived news - up
    Steve, what did you do to the girl? Se has ugly black lines to the right of her now..?

    That previous post courtesy of too much time to waste before going to bed and Ozzy Ozborune's latest video.

    I didnt do anything besides the two small lines on the left handside which are necessary, otherwise the pic is cutoff and weird.

    Faustian Deal? | - 10.24.2001
    archived news - up
    [CNN] Rumours are abound with the recent projected outcomes for the internal polling being conducted by [lp]Inc. Sources within the Accountancy Division of [lp] Inc. had leaked details of various telephone communications of the Upper Management of the company to unknown addresses in Las Vegas, NV. It was at first suspected one of the senior partners, known to close associates as "Kanal", was responcible for these communications in light of his recent reappearance, some analysts suspected he may be hoping to rekindle the old flame of "Virtual" Ted Morris.

    Further investigation concluded that the calls had infact been made to an unspecified - at this time - address in Dowtown Las Vegas by no other than company President Mike "harc0re" Hamel. When questioned he refused to comment if he was infact in conversation with The Devil to win the internal poll, the results to be released live on CNN.Com when the poll finishes on Friday.

    When asked for a comment from Mark "I love rock and roll" Peppin, he simply responded "Fair is foul, foul is fair". We later contacted The Devil at his home in Las Vegas and received this statement, "No buisness deals are or were in negotation." When pressed if The Dark Prince had had any association with them, "They're not mine, but I still love them like my own".

    More on the latest on the Internal Polling Figures can be found on the sidebar.

    DDAAYYY OHHH | - 10.24.2001
    archived news - up
    Daylight Come and we drop da bomb!

    I realize you're heading to boot camp and are a very paritotic American, but ah, well.... it's been well over a month, and they're not funny anymore....

    I realize that you foreigners are quite sick of american belligerence, but frankly... we're not :) We've listened to the UN and pussyfooted around for too long, let us have our pound of flesh and call it a day. it's not like you could reason with GW anyways.

    Then just Nuke the place and get it over with....

    Laff, that is pretty funny :) You're reading too deep into them, just enjoy Bush and Powell doing a nice duet and the comical lyrics. Going a bit far with Shakespear there Steve, you could of fooled us our readers/posters were educated for a second then ;)

    Brtiney's Lost it! | - 10.23.2001
    archived news - up
    Yesturday it was announced that the Associated Organizations of Lamers, which includes the Asscociation of Immature Midgets(AIM for short), better know as AOL, singed one Britney Spears to take over the duties of saying the recorded phrases "You've Got Mail!", "Hello!", and "Goodbye!". No dout that they will be re-done with sexual intonations to get the horny wannabe geeks and know-nothing american public (everyone who doesn't work in the IT sector) to visit more porn/Britney related sites(not much diffrence, but what the heck).... Hopefully someone or something will find a way to return the mindless drones following Ted Turner into hell, and bring them back to the light.

    Your ever faithful defender of the light,

    Poster Fun | - 10.23.2001
    archived news - up
    No doubt my highly imaginitive mind will push for something along these lines to be the next poll, but whatcha gonna do?

    Some fun for all the family here yet again, courtesy of AllPosters.Com. This one is without a doubt adoring the wall above my comp, but I can't decide between poker or pool. Finally, I've found what to get Hamish for his birthday.

    As you can tell, many things hang in the balance over my decision of what pointless crap to adorn my walls with.

    Got Pudding? | - 10.23.2001
    archived news - up
    Welp Im back for a bit guys.
    I leave November 26th for USMC Basic training... heh cant wait!

    Anyway, not much to say right now.

    Sweet Jesus, Freddy is back! Run!

    You got knocked the fuck out | - 10.23.2001
    archived news - up
    Whilst waiting with baited breath for the newest installment of The West Wing to the tune of Mr. Torture - Helloween [Only 60cents!], I reflected upon my day and realised I remember little. It must have been such a horrifying experience that my subconcious is repressing it.

    Between my Physics teacher who was certain electrons were positively charged and a rugby practise that has left me physically exhausted, I am comforted by the fact that it is indeed half termfor me commencing Friday. Not withstanding the fact I have to stay behind on what would of been a half day for a damn rehersal [the honorous duties of being Assisstant Stage Manager, prestigious I know], that's a whole 10days break form the tedium of school to be filled by the obligatory LOAFING

    And to round off this completely pointless post of nothing, I bring you John Candy, and one of the most memorable quotes amoungst a plethora of many to have come out of the crock known as Hollywood. Good night, god bless.

    Life | - 10.21.2001
    archived news - up
    Events in my personal life have changed things for me, I don't know how it will affect me, or even how hard, but I know that what happened yesturday cannot be discussed with people I don't know well enough to trust with such a horrible, horrible thing. But one thing I can say for certain is that the Events of Sunday the 21st of October, 2001 will always be with me and I will never be able to forget them. Because of these events I will be making the concsious choice of never, ever touching alcohol in my life again. I cannot go into details because I know that you're not the people who can help the people involved in what happened this morning.... Thank you, Live long and prosper.

    Fixes | - 10.21.2001
    archived news - up
    Well I've added a dew more random babes for your viewing pleasure [guess I'm not as graphically retarded as I give myself credit for], bringing the total up to 13.

    I've also fixed that niggling black line under the babe, and the humour section now includes Ant's 'Tallca parodies and my press releases, soon to be added to in reference to everyone's favourite thing, yes BEER!. Until then I have an english assignment to actually write out. ugh. Be good.

    hardc0re | - 10.21.2001
    archived news - up
    Last night on our way to progress we walked through one of the main net cafe districts in sydney, where there's about 5-10 just after one another. One cafe had players really close to its front window, which resulted in me and my friends (who, generally, dont use computers for much more than email...) cheering on a couple of diablo 2 players as they rampaged through some dungeon.

    The thing that surprised me, was at 5 in the morning when we were heading home we past the same cafe's to find almost as many people still gaming - now that's hardc0re.

    Attention! | - 10.21.2001
    archived news - up
    I have recently begun using icq again. It has come to my attention that for some reason or another, I will occasionally simply not recieve a message - i'm running 2000b and have no idea why this may be the case. so if i ignore you for a while mid conversation, this is probably why.

    i've decided to use 3526169 as my uin, because it is both lower than the uin i used to use a lot and ends with a '69' - if 5704928 is still on your contact list, you can safely remove it.

    3526169 - or as Eric and I knew it, the UIN of lurve.

    haha | - 10.21.2001
    archived news - up
    i was far too hung over when i wrote that post (below.) i'm still trying to work out what possesed me to write that when i was in the afore mentioned state. i may just conclude it was that hidden geek inside me, that i try so hard to subdue, using my state of phyisical and mental weakness to launch a sneak attack and try to regain control of my body.

    regardless, i wish to point out an interesting article at kuro5hin. i enjoy this site very much (my english is very good, yes?), due to some very clever and thought provoking articles provided, and you can't get much more clever (cleverer?) than this one.

    in other news i noticed that daft punk's 4th discovery video clip has been released, for harder, better, faster, stronger which continue's the anime delivered story for the first 3 clips. pretty good, although the digital love clip is still the best (imho.)

    finally, i was reading solosier's page earlier and came accross, the 'wayback machine' which archives website's at particular times. of (a tiny bit of) interest is tumsun's and the one for this very site. sadly, it only started archiving this domain from 2000 - so there's no One/Two Man Army stuff there.

    text | - 10.21.2001
    archived news - up
    hmmm - there's nothing on tv (not surprising for 4pm on a sunday) and there's no way i want to get out of bed yet (my head hurts oh so much) so one of the few things i am left to do is stay in bed an write an update. Because i have nothing of importance to note on the frontpage of this webpage, and i really really really want this site to become a stereotypical E/N site, i'm going to post about my weekend thus far, not because im sure you care, but just because i can force you all through the incoherent ramblings of my hung over self. enjoy!

    my weekend started (in all reality, not literally) at about 10am yesterday morning. it was hinting a lovely day, a clear blue sky with birds chirping as they do whatever birds do in the morning. with a smile on my dial (my frown had been turned upside down after a week of uni and normal work) i realised that this was a day i'd been looking forward to for the latter half of this week. about once a month a group of about 10 of my good mates go to the city for an absolute blinder - the sort of night that you dont even start thinking about coming home until the sun starts to rise. i'd love to do this more, but after 9 hours of work on a friday, im not too often up for an all nighter, and a lot of my mates have cricket on saturdays, so energy levels are low there too.

    so i got out of bed, and got into some maths assignment i have due on tuesday. i knew i wasnt going to get anything done on sunday, so that puts the emphasis on working hard on a saturday. finishing that shit off at about 2 i went and got the 40 minute train ride into the city, where i headed to a dj expo thing they had going on. it was pretty cool, i got talking to one of the dj's and learnt quite a bit of stuff. i've been meaning to do a dj'ing (beat-mixing) course for a few months now - so i also found out about my options there too. i got home at about 5 and got back to a bit of work. finishing up at 7 made the quick trip over to a mates house where i met up with another good friend of mine to start the evenings proceedings. enjoying a couple of lagers we just chilled for about an hour. during this time, we encountered the first and only problem of the evening, when the question of what time we were meeting everyone else was posed by the host of this get together. this resulted in a situation where my mate and i both thought that each other had organised the evening. so while both of us had called around to set things up and confirm attendees, neither of us had set a time or place that we'd be meeting with everyone else. a frantic ten minutes of all three of us calling people to work out what the fuck was going on concluded with the relief that basically everyone had used their initiative, and were looking at meeting up at the gordon club in about half an hour.

    so we headed up to the train station about 8 and got to gc at around 8:30, finding a few mates who were already there. the scene that ensued for the next 2 hours was quite like that pub scene in human traffic (like it always is - the pub where they all sing the revised god save the queen) its about everyone just getting on the same level, chilling, and just catching up (i go to a different uni to all these guys). 5 or 6 beers later and after many laughs we headed back to the train station to head into the city. train rides into the city are always memorable occasions. everyone's quite under the influence, and looking for some way to fill in the half hour train ride. i'd hate to be another passenger in the same carriage as us - things like getting everyone in the carriage to sing along to random songs and lame shit like hat is certainly not unheard of on such trips.

    feeling not quite intoxicated enough, about six of us got off a station early to head to a 24 hour bottle shop and acquire a few bottles of vodka. the great thing about this is there's a mcdonalds right across the street, so decanting the vodka into lemonade is a very easy thing to accomplish, and a easy way to avoid the chance of those drinking in public fines. for the next 15 minutes we then walked down pitt street to progress @ gas. in sydney, the main hard house / trance clubs are home, zen and gas. home is the same brand as the (now closed?) home club in london, and is sydney's only superclub with 4 rooms and an awesome setting in darling harbour. sublime is its friday night event which is always an awesome night out. the other main friday night in sydney is plastic @ zen which. its basically set in the basement of a house, and has a real underground feel, with the exposed metal support beams and rough brick walls. plastic aims for a real rough underground feel while still remaining approachable. finally, progress is at gas, in the sort of businessy district of the city. its basically set in the underground level of a nice office complex. its in fairly stylish surrounds, but is still a club where's there no pretentious dress to impress door policy and is all about people having a good time.

    we got there just before 12, which was great because we got there with enough time to have a quick drink before one of my favourite au dj's, nervous hit the decks. before i knew it it was 2, and at the end of nervous set so i went up to the second level to chill for a bit and get a drink. i ended out talking to the lighting dude for like 20 minutes and just learnt a lot of stuff by just asking questions and watching him do stuff. amber savage was now behind the decks, and was playing a real awesome set which was just too good to ignore, so i was soon back down on the floor. in a chain of events that i dont really recall, i ended up on the podium dancing with some chick, much to the annoyance of some random dude that neither of us knew and wanted to start me because of my good fortune. the next few hours were spent meeting some really interesting people.

    at about 5 my mates wanted to leave so we headed out, picked up some energy drinks and walked back to the station as the sun came up. this is always the worst part of the night, once you stop hours of dancing and drinking start to take their toll, and the only place you want to be is in the comfort of your bed. we waited about 20 minutes for the first train of the day and 5 minutes later i got to enjoy a site that ill never grow tired of - the sun just rising above the horizon of sydney harbour while going across the harbour bridge - a real great way to end the evening. a few seconds later i fell alseep, to be awoken when i got to our station. once off the train, the final stretch of the evening starts - what we refer to as the walk of shame - the 30 minute walk home you've got to take from the station. its a lonely affair where you just count away the steps until you can collapse into bed.

    thus ends my saturday - and sundays almost over too.
    (the end!)

    Now on sale from all good book stores.

    Winamp 3 Beta 1 | - 10.20.2001
    archived news - up
    ... is very fucking sweet. Fades between songs, freeform skins, all kinds of crazy stuff. I definitely recommend checking it out, but remember it's still beta...

    PS I want to marry Susan (our random girl with the long dark hair and the tiger shorts :)

    You may remember her slightly differently , but it's all good.

    Sorted | - 10.20.2001
    archived news - up
    You have random babes[thanks to Steve for the images], you have a sidebar with images that finally work [thanks IMD for some of the code] and a humour section. What more could you want?

    Hope y'all like it, enjoy.

    LOL | - 10.20.2001
    archived news - up
    He doesn't do the position the justice it once deserved. Why doesn't he just let it die with what molecule of dignity it may still have.

    wm: atom? sub-atomic particle?

    Catfish Bourbon Wooh! | - 10.20.2001
    archived news - up
    It was only now that I realised that if you click the words on the sidebar that it opens subdirectories. Someone should really change the cursor to the hand. I would but I am drunk. Real drunk.

    Some stranger asked if I was a rower. I said yes, and she decided I had to kiss her. I didn't argue. People knowing me when I don't know them makes one feel important. I feel important.

    Nite all.

    An example of the "p1mpside" of the force, learn well children.

    Adobe Has Been Sued By Macromedia | - 10.20.2001
    archived news - up
    Make of it what you will.

    Invaluable References | - 10.20.2001
    archived news - up
    After lamenting for a long time about the loss of the humour page at TTR, I have finally moved on and realised it can be reborn here. So I give you Uses of the word "fuck". Stolen from a site that no doubt stole from someone else and losing the name of the orginal creator, it now stands here hopefully soon to be added to.

    It can also be found under the "Rants" section of our sidebar, soon to be pictures, not mere text I hasten to add! You may have seen it before, you may have heard of it, but now an invaluable resource, impress all your friends as you seem to make it up as you go along!

    Poll is up! | - 10.20.2001
    archived news - up
    After many excruciating minutes and 3-4 attempts, I finally managed to get the poll up and running, In case you're wondering it asks:
    Who's the best.... pimp?

    So click the lovely button and vote!

    Delegation | - 10.19.2001
    archived news - up
    Whilst Matt is hard at work making our new fangled sidebar coding work for our new and innovitive plaguristic poll *, I was busy admiring the simple yet amusing works of Hamish and Kife.

    Full of unfortunately wasted coding and graphics, it has some more than amusing photo's and....stuff about our conflagrating creating kiwi :)

    * You have received a message!
    i just read 'mark uses big words' not 30 seconds ago. =D


    wow... | - 10.19.2001
    archived news - up
    As all Blizzard fans and/or RPG players probably know by now, Blizzard announced their stunning new project a few weeks back, entitled World Of Warcraft (appropriately abbreviated WOW). An MMORPG, Blizzard's first, I might add, it sets out to let you play fully cusomizable characters from the Warcraft I/II/III universe(s) in a persistant online world, and the press releases, screenshots and videos already have me drooling more than a pitbull faced with ten baby carriages (it's true, I just had to purchase a new keyboard). It's estimated that it'll be out in 2003 (although nothing's official, and, knowing Blizzard, it'll take quite a while for them to get it out the door), and with Blizzard's heritage of awesome games, I think this will be nothing short of incredible. For those who don't visit these sites regularly already, here are links: Blizzard's official site, Battle.net, with WoW forums, Warcraft.org and RPG Planet.

    Oh, and welcome to our two new news whores, may your time here be long and... erm... something.

    Anthrax Sucks Kumara | - 10.19.2001
    archived news - up
    Hey Team (Eru Brown reference. I expect noone to appreciate.)

    I've been away. In the army. It owns. Many a hilarious story to be told.

    This week we had an Anthrax scare in the residential area of the base I am posted at. Turns out some good for nothing son of a bitch sent some white powder to the local police station, and it was suspected of being Anthrax infected. Myself and three other mates were put on an all night sentry of the area, which primarily consisted of doing fuck all for 42 straight hours. With no sleep. It sucked.

    Next week I am going on a live fire excercise. I hear rumours of doing 22 fire-missions within a 48 hour period. That is a whole fucking bunch of HEs to fire off. We also have this awesome laser gear hooked up to our rifles and webbing. A couple of infantry platoon intend on fucking us up, so it should pose an interesting time.

    Well, three day weekend, much drinking to accomplish. Toodles.

    I've waited a while for this.. | - 10.18.2001
    archived news - up
    After several years reading this site and wishing that I could post on here I have been awarded news access at long last. If any of you have ever read any of my 'I'm here' posts before you will know I am not very good at it. So before I try and say something interesting I'll sign off saying.... Expect random items of stuff to be appearing on the frontpage soon. Thanks Guys!

    Good Mornin'!! | - 10.18.2001
    archived news - up
    Here's a shout out to all the peeps that be readin' this, and noticin' I've not done this before. That's right, Your newest p1mp be in da house! I've been checking up on the news, and well, let's just say that this anthrax crap in the US is making too many people Paranoid. Yesturday there was a suspicious package found at the local military base and it had to be checked out, turned up false. Now more people are showing up with cases over at the US TV stations... Man, If these are from inside the US, done by Citizens, those citizens will be surprised when they're found and they get the Chair for treason....

    Anyway that's my beef for the day.

    Thought you could hide? | - 10.17.2001
    archived news - up
    The refers reveal everything. Behold for I have found the mighty slut.

    El Reg Lubbin | - 10.17.2001
    archived news - up
    Some nerd-tidbits for you all, you know you live for these sorts of posts from me.
  • How many lines of code to kill the enemy. I was waiting for them to starting going on about hardwarre, and that baby. Unfortunately mine is having gearbox problems at the moment.
  • DSL, What's that?Like we didn't already think this was true. 25th, that is just utterly pathetic.
  • Moronic coders avert more viral shenanigans. At least they saved us all the point news broadcasta on TV and radio warning everyone to watch out for this virus which will no doubt "bring the internet to a standstill". Like the other 100 times..

  • TheShadow

    Funny | - 10.16.2001
    archived news - up
    Extreme sports:
    • Enter the airplane lavatory
    • Cut off your pubic hairs
    • Glue them onto your chin
    • Glue toilet paper around your head
    • Run out of the lavatory and shout "ALLAH AKKBAR!!!"


    Forum Tennis | - 10.15.2001
    archived news - up
    Well, that sure was fun. I think we must of[have?] taken atleast 4 threads into two pages, if not 5. We might experiment with doubles tomorrow if we can find enough people. If not, our inane spiel is indeed endless.

    What the... | - 10.15.2001
    archived news - up

    The 'war' on terrorism | - 10.15.2001
    archived news - up
    Three are so many things that worry me surrounding this issue, none of which have anything to do with my own personal well being.

    When dubya first spoke about these attacks over a month ago, he expressed his opinion that he believed america was targeted for those attacks due to the things that made it so great, highlighting america's (and the western world) (apparent - in my opinion) freedom and democracy. When George declared that this would be a long war, he expressed that it was so important that we, the world in general went after those guilty of the attacks so that we could protect the virtues that the western world places most dear.

    Yet, as this situation progresses through our attempt to protect our freedom and democracy, it seems that we are really diminishing it. In the last month a number of our social liberties have been encroached upon. One main example is how American TV networks agreed not to show video statements from the Taliban(?) and Al Quada (sorry, far too busy to check spelling...) Yes - there is a very (very) small chance that such video's may be sending messages to groups inside america. However, I dont think its too unreasonable to suggest, that a group that is so capable that its been able to commit the atrocities of september the 11th, needs to rely on TV to relay communication to its members.

    I think its important to question such a situation as this. Which is more important to you - an apparent feeling of safety or your apparent (we're not seeing to much of it) right to see what the other side of the argument have to say – freedom of speech.

    Furthermore, the Taliban have offered to hand over bin Laden to a third party - yet dubya responds with a firm no - as far as he is concerned bin laden is guilty. Isn't another one of the ideals that we're meant to be protecting being that you are innocent until proven guilty by a court of law?

    Why are we so sure that attacking the Taliban and placing the northern alliance in power is the right thing to do in afghanistan? ffs, this is just history repeating itself? Afterall, how did the Taliban gain the power that they have today (or perhaps more correctly, had a month ago.)

    I could write pages about this, too bad i don’t have the time...

    Here here. And this isn't a war on terrorism, this is an assault on the ruling power in Afghanistan. I think it's Al Quaeda.

    Hacker Attacks on RAX | - 10.14.2001
    archived news - up
    Sunday, 14th September, 2001 - 18:30AM BST

    ([lp] News) Late breaking news today as two hackers have struck the Corperate Headquarters of RAX Plc in , a symbol of it's power and control over the International Community. The attacks happened at 3:10pm BST, that was just after 10:10EST. As the community looked on in horror no less than 50 minutes later we witnessed another hit the site at 4:04pmBST. Read more.....

    Dear lord | - 10.14.2001
    archived news - up
    Is nothing sacred?

    Parodies | - 10.13.2001
    archived news - up
    We all love them [and your Aunties tapes them on the VCR]. For your reading pleasure antony kindly drew up these parodies of Metallica Black Album over 2years ago, what foresight!
  • 01 - Enter Fatman
  • 02 - Fat But True
  • 03 - Fatter Than Thou
  • 04 - The Whippedcream
  • 05 - Whever I May Eat
  • 06 - Don't Eat Near Me
  • 07 - Through The Freezer
  • 08 - Nothing Else Spatters
  • 09 - Of Food And Man
  • 10 - The Fat That Failed
  • 11 - My Friend Of Munchies
  • 12 - Struggle Within

  • TheShadow

    Go forth | - 10.13.2001
    archived news - up
    CNCNZ is back up, as are it's forums go support them. Now, go on.

    Warning | - 10.13.2001
    archived news - up
    Do not push englishmen too far.

    dont worry | - 10.13.2001
    archived news - up
    it's working again.

    p.s. - dont drop an md on tiles.

    i broke my MD | - 10.13.2001
    archived news - up

    Raping the news | - 10.12.2001
    archived news - up
    [The loud sound of an alarm clock radio pierces the morning air...]

    BRAIN SYSTEM: Attention. Alert registered.
    CAPTAIN: Alert? Number One, report!
    NUMBER ONE: Sir! We're picking up loud music.
    CAPTAIN: Music? We were just asleep!
    NUMBER ONE: Yes sir. Ears report it is "Achy Breaky Heart."
    CAPTAIN: Good lord, are we being tortured?
    NUMBER ONE: Sir, Eyes are functional and request instruction.
    CAPTAIN: Tell them to open up and try to find out what is going on.
    NUMBER ONE: Scope! Okay, I see darkness... darkness... Wait, there's a woman sleeping there.
    CAPTAIN: A woman?
    NUMBER ONE: Sir, Libido Station wants to know if it is Anna Kournikova.
    CAPTAIN: Forget about Libido. What can you tell me?
    NUMBER ONE: Sir, Memory reports a near perfect match to "wife," sir.
    CAPTAIN: Well of course. Keep looking.
    NUMBER ONE: Sir, urgent report from Stomach on the horn, do you want to take it?
    CAPTAIN: Stomach, what's going on?
    STOMACH: Sir, we've taken a hit, it... it looks bad, sir.
    CAPTAIN: Get hold of yourself, man!
    STOMACH: Yessir. It looks like a prawn vindaloo, sir. It exploded at about 1900 hours and we've been out of action ever since. I don't... I don't know if she can take much more, Captain.
    CAPTAIN: Stomach! Now you listen to me, son. We're all counting on you up here. Don't give up now. Remember the chilli of '94? We made it through that, we can make it through anything.
    STOMACH: Yessir. You can count on me, sir.
    CAPTAIN: Good man.
    NUMBER ONE: Sir, I've got a visual on the clock!
    CAPTAIN: Tell me, Number One.
    NUMBER ONE: Oh my God, sir. It's horrible.
    CAPTAIN: Dammit sailor, get a grip on yourself!
    NUMBER ONE: It's... It's six thirty, sir. In the morning.
    CAPTAIN: In the morning? Not again. I thought... I thought that we'd had the worst of it yesterday.
    SYSTEM: Sixty seconds to consciousness.
    CAPTAIN: This is madness. Do you know what's going to happen if we go conscious now, this early?
    NUMBER ONE: Work, sir?
    CAPTAIN: That's right, Number One. It'll be work, all right. I don't... don't know if I can live through that hell again.
    SYSTEM: Fifty seconds to consciousness.
    NUMBER ONE: Sir? Do you have orders?
    CAPTAIN: Hmmm?
    NUMBER ONE: Orders, sir. Do you have orders for us?
    CAPTAIN: Orders? Orders, Number One? Damn right there are orders! Let's get ourselves moving.
    NUMBER ONE: Aye aye, sir!
    SYSTEM: Forty seconds to consciousness.
    CAPTAIN: Shut that damn thing off, I'm trying to think. Get our remote stations on line. I want a Search and Acquire on anything that feels like a snooze button. Tell them to MOVE. Bladder!
    BLADDER: Yes sir?
    CAPTAIN: How are you holding?
    BLADDER: All systems are flush and ready, sir. We can go another three hours, easy.
    CAPTAIN: Very well, Bladder. Number One, get me Nose on the horn.
    NOSE: Sir, Nose reporting, sir!
    CAPTAIN: Good to hear from you, Nose. How are you doing up there?
    NOSE: Sir, ah, we registered cat breath about twenty minutes ago, but it was pretty faint and I didn't think...
    CAPTAIN: Steady on, nose. You were right not to trigger an alert.
    NOSE: Thank you, sir.
    CAPTAIN: Nose, I'm afraid I have bad news for you, son. We took a prawn vindaloo last night.
    NOSE: Oh no, sir, not again!
    CAPTAIN: I said steady! You're going to have to hold on, you hear me?
    Hold on, and it will pass. I don't want ANYTHING getting through to Consciousness.
    NOSE: Yes sir. I'll try, sir.
    CAPTAIN: That's the spirit. Stomach!
    STOMACH: Sir?
    CAPTAIN: How are you doing down there?
    STOMACH: We've been breached, Captain. The whole alimentary is in flames. I'm trying to keep it contained, but I can't promise anything.
    CAPTAIN: Damn!
    NUMBER ONE: Sir, Libido Station reports it is ready for battle!
    CAPTAIN: Tell Libido to calm down, I'll call him when I need him. Any report from our search party?
    NUMBER ONE: Sir, Fingers report they located and toppled a glass of water, a pair of glasses, and a box of Kleenex. No luck on the snooze, sir.
    CAPTAIN: Number One, I don't mind telling you, if we don't get this under control we're going to lose her.
    NUMBER ONE: Yes sir. Sir, Libido requests positive verification that the woman sleeping next to us is not Anna Kournikova.
    CAPTAIN: For crying out loud.
    NUMBER ONE: Sir, Ears reports the song is over. It's going to commercial, sir.
    CAPTAIN: How much time on the system clock?
    NUMBER ONE: Ten seconds to consciousness, sir. We've lost smile control in the lower facial and we're developing a frown.
    CAPTAIN: Brace yourself, Number One. I'm afraid we've had it.
    NUMBER ONE: Sir! Fingers has located target. Repeat, Fingers is on target!
    CAPTAIN: Fire!
    NUMBER ONE: Hit! Sir, direct hit!
    CAPTAIN: Ears!
    NUMBER ONE: It's gone, Captain! Ears reports the music is gone!
    CAPTAIN: We've done it!
    SYSTEM: Consciousness cancelled.
    NUMBER ONE: Sir, all systems are ready for sleep mode. Repeat, sleep mode now ready.
    CAPTAIN: Trigger sleep mode NOW.
    NUMBER ONE: Sleep mode triggered, aye aye, sir.
    CAPTAIN: Shut Eyes.
    NUMBER ONE: Eyes off, sir. Frown relaxed, smile restored.
    CAPTAIN: By golly, that was a close one.
    NUMBER ONE: Yessir. Sir, Dream Team requests selection. Libido asking for something naked, sir.
    CAPTAIN: Request denied. Let's roll the one where we show up for church wearing only our underwear, I like that one.
    NUMBER ONE: Roger that, sir. Dream selection completed and tape is rolling, sir.
    CAPTAIN: Good work, Number One. You take the helm.
    NUMBER ONE: Aye aye, sir.

    Got to love it | - 10.12.2001
    archived news - up
    Sweet smell of irony. Thanks to Jesse there.

    What to do... | - 10.12.2001
    archived news - up
    When you are bored. Some draw, some play, I write.

  • Westwood change's it's political affliations after an all too public incident.
  • RAX Plc. Upper Management restructure rumoured.
  • Intense internal civil war rumoured at RAX Plc.
  • Disclaimer: This is all purly conjecture, you you can shove any complaints up your collective asses :) And Newman, I do still love you.

    Heard it before | - 10.12.2001
    archived news - up
    First there was all the Lincoln/Kennedy bullshit, now there is the mass paranioa about the September 11th tradegy. An interesting read anyway.

    New Forums Ready | - 10.11.2001
    archived news - up
    Since I had some spare time I set up some better forums for [lp]. Some people did not like the old style WebBBS forum so YaBB has been installed. Its works similar to UBB but with a few extra features. So go check it out!
    The old WebBBS forum is still here in case we all think the new one is crap but I think the new YaBB forum isn't bad at all. Just follow this link http://www.warmaker.com/forum/ to enter the new forum.

    Matrix Parody | - 10.10.2001
    archived news - up
    Does anyone remember cr0bar's bastardisation of The Matrix that gained a huge following, generally after it was completed and the interview with Iambe, and plugs on /. and UF etc? And it was on some obscure webhost before it was finished[Now it seems cr0bar has his own site, copying our ideas me thinks]? You may also remember we were plugging from the 6th page I think it was. Well thanks wholey to the efforts [?] of The venerable Killer, it can be read again. Reminisce about those good times back then.
    "Ah the 20th Century, the good old days".

    Hotpink is back baby! | - 10.10.2001
    archived news - up
    I love my color... Anyway, the reason i got off my ass is because no one mentioned that it was mark's bday a few days ago. We cant have him thinking we dont care so, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

    ps: PINK RULES!
    \/ \/ \/ \/

    Reason For CNCNZ.com Not Working | - 10.09.2001
    archived news - up
    Short and simple, because its not there. We have had a really nasty server problem, someone from another GPH hosted site uploaded Nimbus which is effectively a virus from its description. These bastards telneted into the server and executed it. As the server was brought back online everything got trashed.All I know is that this server at GPH is now getting replaced with a brand new one. The site will be back ASAP its just matter of what files can be recovered.

    That was quick | - 10.09.2001
    archived news - up
    Unless I've lost all track of time, they got Swordfish out on DVD pretty quickly.

    No doubt you read on BAMF about "Jedi" being officially declared a religion. What a sorry reflection on society. And for those ignorant sheep of you out there, you're officially dumb asses. We never thought that was possible either...

    Personally I stoped using Kazaa since I stupidly gave into getting the update. Now all it does is crashes windows for me, teach me to stick with muppet edition. My music collection is pretty much complete anyway and WinMX is more than capable for the continuing cause.

    eh... | - 10.09.2001
    archived news - up
    OK, I know I've been out of the loop for over a month due to my lack of internet access at home (someone reroute a couple of cruise missiles from Afghanistan to my ISP), but can someone tell me why, upon entering www.cncnz.com in my browser I get a "Domain for sale" page...? Just wondering...

    I couldn't get it to load and gave up after one very tenious try, but I'm sure you're right.

    Respect the family | - 10.08.2001
    archived news - up
    No DVD collection is complete without it. Took their damn time getting it out too.
    "And that's a true story."

    Why oh why | - 10.08.2001
    archived news - up
    Can't they be in my area?!

    Badda boom | - 10.07.2001
    archived news - up
    Once more unto the breech.

    Blue Shift | - 10.07.2001
    archived news - up
    I held off buying this new add-on for Half-Life and man I wish didn't waste my money. I finally caved in a picked up copy only to finish the whole damn thing in less than a day! Upon purchasing I was under the impression that it was a BIG add on like Opposing Force was but oh how wrong was I :(
    Having Opposing Force on the same CD doesn't make up for it either, I already have that!
    I'll be fair though it is good with clever puzzles and plenty of action but its to damn short, guess I'll just wait for Half-Life 2 - I'd expect that to be much longer.

    Filler | - 10.07.2001
    archived news - up
    NormallyI wouldn't really post this sort of thing, but since these are probably the best I've seen [that are actually funny] and no is posting, here you go.

    One way of doing things
    Is that your final answer?

    Brought to us by our good friends in #jedi.

    Stats | - 10.06.2001
    archived news - up
    I was just looking at the screen res' people use will the 503 of you who used 640x480 please go and throw yourself of the nearest bridge, consider it attonement for using such a sinful resolution.

    And those 13995 of who use 800x600 yes you know who you are, shame..shame on you.

    And why couldn't she of done this in Planet of the Apes? Would of made it seem less like a waste of time anyway.

    Plagurism | - 10.06.2001
    archived news - up
    Sky have just redesigned their website [the last week or so], and look, they have a clock in the corner!

    Nix Hypocrasy | - 10.06.2001
    archived news - up
    Amazing how linux users are always boasting how superior they are to us "mere" users of windows, when all they can do is have infantile arguments about shit.

    Most windows users have excuses for being jackass', I thought linux users were supposed to be mature, elite and above it all?
    "You can take that cookie, and shove it up your.. shove it up your..shove it up your.."

    Buffy and Angel | - 10.05.2001
    archived news - up
    It seems Buffy and Angel have started up again in the States, and if the gap of the episodes last year was anything to go by they should be starting here in around 6-7weeks, but rumour has it they won't be here til January [as Enterprise won't be here til 26th Feb dammit!].

    The new episodes - thanks to the handy dandy episode guides for Buffy and Angel - have thankfully missed out the seemingly obligatory grief stricken scenes of her funeral, wake etc but it does sometimes annoy me when vast amounts of time have seemingly been covered between series and the script ends up making you feel as if you've missed an episode. Thankfully this doesn't really suffer from that either, and hasn't really in any other series gaps [TNG had the right idea, finish on a two-parter].

    I wasn't expected the arrival of Buffy and departure of Giles to be so sudden, ie the premier. I was under the impression that he'd be staying on for a few episodes, I assume he'll be a mere recurring character now. Definatelty looking forward to "The Watcher" or whatever they decide to call his series.
    Tune in, turn on, drop out.

    It's time... | - 10.05.2001
    archived news - up
    ...to rape the load time once again. It's been a while since the last time I did this, let's see if I can still remember how...
    This time we look at Actual ads posted by actual idiots. Props to my bud Sjur for sending me these:

    Well, no shit...

    Gee, thanks for the heads-up... Lost a lot of trees this year, have you?

    Oh, goodie, I thought I had to learn Spanish to get rid of that damn Cocker Spaniel...

    Holy cow, really? Good thing we can always trust the boys in blue!

    I was with you until that 'once before' thing... I'll pass, thanks

    ...and of course, you would have to have died on 12.06.1989, right...?

    Can someone verify this?

    Sorry if the image server is a bit slow, I don't have the FTP info for this one yet. See ya soon.

    Not any more, uploaded to your staff file. Sent all relavent info to your uni account.

    Emode fun | - 10.04.2001
    archived news - up
    When you become aged and retired such as myself, you will obviously find that such things as seemingly pointless flash/shockwave games and obscure tests suddenly become inordentely more attractive to partake in, so thanks to the blessing of the Emode.com newsletter I haven't got round to being taken off from, I polute your waking day with this information:

    What's your Theme Tune?. Obviously it doesn't cover such special personalities as Tim ["Big Pimpin"], Therm["Stupid Kid"] and antony ["Ronnie"], but does give you an accurate[?] representation of what sort of music you..live by?
    My Result:Back In Black - AC/DC

    Which "friend" are you? Not in the sense of "the joker", "the prat" etc, as in the TV Show. Extra points for reciting "Smelly Cat".
    My Result: Chandler [Which I don't think is terribly accurate of the actual character in the show, but there you go]

    Hey hey | - 10.04.2001
    archived news - up
    What do you get when you cross Presto, Gammyleg and antony?
    "The horror....the horror.....the horror".

    Behold | - 10.04.2001
    archived news - up
    I return from the dead... Where have I been? Basically work, school and chasing girls of course (I actually found some good looking ones around here!). Well, umm I gotta do econ hw right now, sorry for sounding like a 14yo forum kiddie, but I'm in a rush. One last thing, where are all our other posters?

    Cartoonists. | - 10.03.2001
    archived news - up
    Things like today's PVP really give the wrong impressive about gaming news sites. Especially mis-informed, unfounded irresponcible speculation like that. Even worse when it happens to be accurate mis-informed, unfounded, irresponcible, speculation.

    Talking of comics, I highly recommend 8-Bit Threatre, or comic heaven for Randy. Althou he's about as reliable as a french contraption in getting the comics up they are all pretty funny and better than alot of the shit out there imho.

    El Rego | - 10.03.2001
    archived news - up
    RIAA says, "bring it". This, children, is why we use Morpheus and WinMX

    BT says, "look, over there". "And finally, there has been a huge focus on BT and DSL, when broadband is bigger than any on supplier or any one technology," he said. ".


    They Don't Make Them Like They Used To | - 10.03.2001
    archived news - up
    I was just sitting playing around on my secondary machine, a simplistic Pentium 200MMX machine, 4x cdrom, 48mb RAM... rather unimpressive statistics really. But anyway, stumbling around the hard drive, it was then I discovered some of the old games I had tucked away on there from a few months ago.

    And boy, there's a few classics there. Some of the old Space Quest games, Kings Quest, Conquests of the Longbow -- the old Sierra games were a huge part of my childhood. Golden Axe, Doom 2 (a game that Mike and I enjoyed many games of a OpenGL TCP/IP multiplayer update of during our critical HSC exams lats year, in fact! ;), Gauntlet, Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego DELUXE Edition.... these are games that provided endless hours of entertainment during my younger years.

    Graphically, many of these games have nothing on modern day games, where 3d accelerator cards boast tenfold the amount of RAM that the whole system might have had in "the old days". Yet they pushed the boundaries of technology at the time, leaving many a gamer awestruck at this or that, and making their mark in our memory for years to come. It seems shameful that many games these days waste far too much time on bells and whistles and neglect the vital game play and storylines that made these old games so immersive.

    So when my PC becomes too outdated to deal with the demands of the latest and greatest games, I know I'll always be able to fire up one of these classics on any old machine and enjoy some of the thrills of yesteryear.

    This meaningless ramble was brought to you by the letters 'T, 'S', and the number 6.

    W00t | - 10.02.2001
    archived news - up
    Wow hey guys how is it going.. A lot of things have gone on from when this site died to the rebirth of such a great site. I have built 3 computers so yeah I have my own local area network. I also started college I am a big time ECET (Electronics Computer Engineering Technician) Yeah I know scary eh :) Not much has changed with me still no girlfriend and don't really care to have one right now because my studies are more important. School is great and I really like it I am getting about a 3.4 right now :) Oh yeah how could I forget I am 20 years old you guys missed my birthday it was September the 6th. IRC hasn't changed a bit it is still lame and webnet is still lame so you guys didn't miss much there. I would just like to say hello to all the fellow l33t p1mps Mike and Tim especially who I haven't not talked to in ages. Yes I am back and I shall bring you guys up to date comuter information like on the new AMD Xp Chip :)

    Check reverse side | - 10.02.2001
    archived news - up
    I'm really too tired to comment, so go and read that tidbit and have a good hearty laugh. And before anyone starts moaning like the sad fucks they are about that post which was on bamf too [after mine coincidentaly], I actually read The Times in the morning.

    Mike's exceeding his weekly recommended "use of extremely long and convoluted syntax", if we're not careful he may start talking like a normal person soon.

    Blair's Speach | - 10.02.2001
    archived news - up
    I just watched Blair's speech live on one of the free to air channel's over here and am once again concerned by the conservative, shoot first, ask questions later rhetoric that he, dubya, and most other western leaders are presenting.

    "[we're only acting because it was America that was attacked] double standards they say" - blair just commented, ffs - cant he see that this is a huge double standard? Don't get me wrong, it was a huge tragedy, but such comments generally come from the only society that has used a nuclear bomb in war, and one of the main/few supporters of UN sanctions on a number of nations (Iraq for example, sanctions that the UN itself is generally against) that cause tens of thousands of innocent people - too, to die.

    Of course it’s a double standard.

    Surfing | - 10.02.2001
    archived news - up
    Yesterday, instead of participating in the considerable amounts of study / working on assignments that were required due to the fact that i returned back from mid-semester break today, i decided to employ my putting-off-as-much-as-possible skills and begin my surfing career.

    its fukn hard, a lot harder than it looks.

    i've started as i decided that i dont want to become one of those 30 year olds who still body boards, and as a number of my friends are also evolving to the world of standing up, now is as good any other time. after a day of trying i can still barely stand, and ending up with really fucked up knees. i think im going to have a cry now, could someone pass a tissue?

    im going to stop posting crap now, i need to get my c assignment done (which is to re-create that rotation game.) my career as an elite game designer begins, perhaps nokia will offer me a job?

    Kazaa sux0rs, | - 10.02.2001
    archived news - up
    yet compared to imesh you really dont have a choice and Gnutella is such a hastle

    The thing that really annoys me about Kazaa is the way it can just screw you over and give you 'failed' messages on some of your downloads, forcing you to start from scratch. This has happened a number of times for me, and for someone who uses a 33.6k dialup connection, the experiance of seeing one of those failed messages is about as enjoyable as engaging in anal sex with another man (err... so i've heard.)

    Case in point being the video clip of Blow Ya Mind that i've been downloading lately. In this video clip, Gwen Stefani is the pinnacle when its comes to examples of the female form, and as such i was considerably disapointed. Yet, not resigned to allow Kazaa to affront my hetrosexual ideals I decided to take action, chosing to investigate how i may retrieve my seemingly lost download.

    Basically, the point of this post is to let you know that if Kazaa fucks up, and you have previewed your download it should be stored somewhere in your IE temporary internet files directory.

    And as a reward for reading this far down, I have another one of those browser games for you all. Unlike the bunny game, this one is actually fun. Give it a go, and beat 1641.

    Rusty is a homosexual | - 10.02.2001
    archived news - up
    It's quite funny.

    Counter | - 10.01.2001
    archived news - up
    Et voila. That's just a very rough estimate, if anyone has anything more accurate let me know or alter the relavent file. Also, does anything tihnk it'd look better if links weren't underlined when you hover? I can't decide now.

    Why didn't I think of this | - 10.01.2001
    archived news - up
    Fuck your exams and want a way to benefit? Laugh not, just sue the school. Quite a good idea really, suing for future losses pertaining to salary and job options. Althought the article clearly states how well she's done in previous years etc etc, even if she had achieved an A in it, A B in French would certainly make future employers think twice. Not exactly the ideal subjects for Law either.

    Another weapon and plan to add to my ever growing scheme to destroy my school. As Milton says, "I could burn the whole building down you know". Conversely of course we all know Aristtotle's famous words, "The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet."

    October | - 10.01.2001
    archived news - up
    This month has special note I feel because it shows that Germany does have more redeeming qualities than Brabus' and Alpena's. As so aptly pointed out by the web comic's very own egomaniac, this is indeed the start of Oktoberfest.

    In celebration of god knows what, this huge festival involves the commendering of one rather large field, several huge tents, alot of beer comanies, the finest in German ladies and more beer than Mike has drunk (Let M = Mike's beer consumption. M^2 = Oktoberfest, that's how much there is). Each company aquires it's own tent, where you go in, drink huge amounts of tasty german beer and partake in any number of things involving beer, women dressing in short skirts and wooden tables.

    I think if the Germans can learn to have huge piss up's lasting weeks, then maybe there is hope for them yet.

    Getting the ladies | - 10.01.2001
    archived news - up
    In the endless interlocking cycle that is "being fly", one deciding factor has always been the clothes that you wear. With the end of summer and the dawn of autumn [for those of us living in the civilized half of the world ;)] brings yet another stream of new fashion trends. Of course we know how highly our readers value their status' as "Mack Daddys" and always strive to provide the best service we can in aiding you on the never ending quest of getting laid.

    So we offer you the latest in trends and fashion, mere clicks away.
    • The UserFriendly House of Style. World reknown for over a third of a decade for it's cutting edge and culture defining styles, it's new line covering a wide variety of markets, his and her clothing has been accounted for. Amalgmating the Operating System known as Linux and the stylish gaelic influenced designs, these clothes show both style, refinment and professionalism in the person adorned with the cloth.
    • El Reg Fashion House. The logo of The Register instantely recognisable anywhere in the world, representing the British values of simplistic style and multi-purpose fashion. Designed for the man on the go, this line is sure to be a hit on every Convention Floor around the world when they hit stores world wide. At a very affordable price, you not only get quality craftsman ship, you get the recognition and guarantee of The Register.


    Re: Below | - 10.01.2001
    archived news - up
    I've just learnt of the real reasons behind Maniac's planned (nothing on RAX yet) departure. While I will leave the post I wrote before, I would like to note that I would not have made light of the situation earlier if I had originally had the full story and that I, sincerly, wish him all the best in sorting things out. He's hardly experiancing the best of what life has to offer, and i hope to see him back here soon so that we may continue the love-hate relationship that we have with those munkies.

    Maniac Steps Away | - 10.01.2001
    archived news - up
    In apparent back-lash from the recent #cnc take-over Maniac has revealed to [lp] that he "is gonna take a breather from the sites." Soon after a jovial exchange between Maniac and [lp] the mood turned sour, perhaps due to a confrontation between Maniac and RaGe. It was after this confrontation that Maniac revealed that he was taking a breather and that he will be switching email and icq accounts until he gets "back in order."

    Before his prompt departure from the channel, Maniac offered "if u guys wanna ask anything ask now" however he failed to answer the question posed by [lp] #cnc correspondant wm, "what is the meaning of life." Some experts in the field have since speculated that his lack of a reply was intented, indicating that Maniac believes that there is no meaning to life.

    We at [lp] wish Maniac all the best, and hope for his swift return to the community.

    Hey Mark! | - 10.01.2001
    archived news - up
    Since I don't have internet access at home yet, and I'm really bored, I present to you this and this. All non-prog rock fans might not have any interest in this at all.

    #cnc | - 10.01.2001
    archived news - up
    In news that’s just come to hand (you heard it here first!), the community irc channel, #cnc has been taken over by an individual only identifying himself by the moniker 'Charlie091'.

    The take-over occurred in the early evening, AEST, a time referred to as "the night shift" by forum regulars, due to the fact that Americans are asleep, and Europeans are at school or place at employment during this time. Charlie091 indicated to us in a [lp] exclusive that he was displeased by the fact that others had been offer operator status, yet he hadn't - "i have been using this channelfor agesand not so much as vop has been offered me!" he communicated.

    Sadly, soon after [lp]'s crack team of reporters arrived to cover the story, Charlie901 had to depart, leaving sympathiser ‘The_Qw1rk’ to extrapolate on the events that had occurred. "this room is corrupt" exclaimed The_Qw1rk, "the so-called 'abusive ops' have been removed [so] it's not corrupt anymore." The channel, that is supported by community heavyweights such as Maniac's Extreme empire, Sonic's CNCNZ and Lion's RADEN has received critism in the past – perhaps the notable being a forum thread at RADEN. Sadly, none of the channel operators were available to defend the allegations of corruption.

    As this is a situation that is just developing, we'll be sure to keep you up to date as things progress.

    seti@home | - 10.01.2001
    archived news - up
    i started about a month ago again - and by the look of those numbers, both eric and steve childs are too.

    im too important to ammend replies to the bottom of your posts, mark!

    I never would ask such an insolent thing of you oh master. I asked Steve Childs and he hasn't been running it for some time, he just had ~4 machiens running it at one time, hence the huge numbers.

    1999 - 2019 Elite Pimps Enterprises - Layout and Coding by lp.kane